a girl that makes me do silly dances

August 20, 2001, 12:55 pm

I took Thursday and Friday off work so that I could take care of a few things and also rest and perhaps enjoy at least some part of my summer before school starts (which is tomorrow!). Several very interesting things happened and I'd like to list them all here, but that would require an immense ammount of typing (which I'm not all that up for at the moment :).

Here's the really important stuff:

The Good

I can't help but just outright say it: I kissed a girl this past week! :) Oh, she's so wonderful! I'm so stupid! ACK! I'm talking to her right now. *swoon* Geez, she is so incredibly cute, but at the same time so absolutely sexy! Her hair has wings! FUCKING WINGS! And not the kind of wings you're thinking of... Not disco flippy-out kinda wings.... It's very difficult to describe. After we kissed for the first time and she told me that I kissed well, I almost admitted to her, I'm really glad you think so, because it's been almost a year and nine months since I've kissed someone, but I didn't. Luckily.

I don't think anyone can wholly appreciate how extremely exited I am about all this. Arg! Phew... It's great.

Caught without people or drink
I don't know what else to think.
But I'm gonna grow wings and sing
Amen, I'm checking out.

Also good, but not as good as kissing girls: I found out where my old best friend, Brady Davis Garabato, is living. I called him. We hung out the next day. It was good to see him. I've missed our friendship. A lot. I'm writing in very short, choppy sentences.

The Bad

So Davis and I were hanging out and we decided that we'd go sit on the roof of the elementary school that I attended. Davis used to live very close to it, and we'd go there at night and climb on the roof to hang out, talk about girls, watch the stars, whatever.

We ran out to the school just before the sun goes down. There were a few people playing basketball in the front, but we didn't think they were really paying attention (people rarely ever look up at anything). We climbed up and went to the spot where we always used to go and sit.

Everything was fine. We sat and talked and watched the Sun set. We caught up on a lot of things. Then, I noticed it was about 8:30 (and I was supposed to meet Miss Incredibly-Cute-Girl at 9), so I decided it was time to get the heck outta there. We climbed back down the roof and headed towards my car. I started driving out of the lot when Davis joked, Hey, look! It's the fuzz! But then the cop turned up the one-way drive, blocking us off. Then he turned on his lights.

He asked me to get out of the car and I did. I was polite and told the truth. Gave him my id. Answered all his questions. After he verified that I owned the Honda, he let us go saying, Please stay off the roof. It's dangerous.

It could've been so much worse, but it wasn't. Thank goodness. :)

The Ugly

I'll be moving at the end of the month and my roommate and I will be renting a moving truck. But I don't want to keep my framed posters and whatnot in the truck, only to have glass broken and things ruined. So my mom told me that I should put them in my Grandfather's apartment (actually, in his basement). He lives in Louisville.

I got my stuff loaded into my mom's van and called Grandfather. I showed up a little bit later and rang his doorbell. He answered and at first everything was cool. I introduced him to Davis (who was coming along with me for the day) and Grandfather went to show us where the basement was and to unlock doors and whatnot.

He went to turn on a light in the stairway to the basement. It's a string that you pull and the light comes on and he had a really hard time getting the string in his hand. It kinda unnerved me, but I wasn't freaked or anything. We (slowly) went to the basement and then Grandfather (slowly) went up these steps that led to an outside door. He opened the door and Davis and I brought my framed posters in in one trip.

After we'd put my stuff in the basement, Grandfather started scaring me. He was saying things like, Oh, I see your mom got a new van. [the van I was driving was the same van my mom's been driving since 1992.] He said to Davis, So, you're a singer? Totally randomly! Without provocation! While it's true that Davis did "vocals" for a band, he didn't really sing... it's was more screaming and whatnot.

Then Grandfather asked if I'd like to stay awhile and talk and I got really freaked out. I didn't want to hear anything or see anything that would make me think that Grandfather is losing it and I didn't want to spend the rest of my day with him. I always feel uncomfortable around him. I just don't really know him that well.

Immediately after we'd left, I felt bad. I still feel bad. I can't help but fear that when I'm his age, my jerk grandchildren won't want to spend any time with me either. I do honestly want to spend some time with him, but I just got really scared the other day.

I'm always so shocked and scared when I realize how heartless and ugly I can be.